Hello My Dearest
by Writings of a Blonde
Summary: Bella's mother dies when she was 14. On her 16th Birthday, she receives a Journal from her mother. It gives her advice for the future. But will it help or will it just make things got wrong, terribly wrong? R&R please. A/H. BXE, RXE, AXJ eventually
1. Prologue

**A/N: okay guys. new story...again!  
anyway, this one is similar to a book called 'By The Time You Read This' by Lola Jaye.  
**

**Hopefully you will like this story anyway though.  
**

**I have chapter one ready to post and nearly done chapter 2 as well, but I would really like at least 5 reviews before I post the next chapter. They can be good reviews or not: I don't care. **

**If I don't have 5 by at least tomorrow night, I will post the next chapter anyway :)**

**Emma**

**x

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_Hello my dearest daughter. It's your mother here. _

_Well your probably wondering what the hell I am doing writing this and to be perfectly honest with you, I don't know either at the moment. _

_I reckon the simple answer would be is because I love you and that I wanted to give you advice for the future, something I won't be able to do in person. _

_Right then, before I start, I should inform you that I got the idea to start this journal from the last book I read, 'By The Time You Read This' by Lola Jaye. After reading it I decided that knowing I was going to die, I felt that you would want to at least know your own mother in as many ways as possible. _

_So anyway, there are rule to this book, just like there was for the manual in the above story. Follow these carefully, and we won't have a falling out. _

_Rules_

_You may read only one entry per month. Some might be short, some might be long, but no more than one a month._

_No peeking to the next entry. _

_You may read the miscellaneous entries at the back of the book at your own pace. They are there for everyday help. _

_Other than that, welcome to your own personal help to life, written by your own mother. _

_

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_**A/N: I know it is short, _very short_, but I have made it up by wrting a longish chapter one and a long chapter two. **

**review please :) x  
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	2. Hello My Dearest

**A/N: well here is chapter two, as promised. Hope you enjoy.**

**IMPORTANT: would just like to point out, it's now every year she can read a new entry. not every month. **

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_Hello my darling. It's your mother here!_

_Welcome to the first real entry of your journal. I am hoping that this might actually work, but for all I know, it could be a disaster. That would be just typical. _

Anyway, just thought I would say hello and that I love you. I feel so bad for leaving you, but it was obviously my time to go.

I closed the book over, unable to read anymore without smudging the ink with my tears. I pulled my knees up to under my chin, and began to rock back and forth, allowing my tears to fall freely.

After a few minutes, I got up off my new bed, the pink and white duvet falling to the floor, and went to the bathroom. Walking in, I noticed in the full length mirror how bad I looked: my hair was sticking out in most directions; my eyes were blood shot from crying and I had massive bags under my eyes from the lack of sleep. I quickly washed my face in a pool of cold water in attempt to wake me up a bit better before going back to my room and sitting back down on the bed, lifting the duvet back up and tucking it tightly around me. I looked around my room for a moment, taking in the scene that lay before me. The beautiful black and white pictures of New York hung perfectly against the snowfall paint on my wall. The Laura Ashley wallpaper – that consisted of white and pink flowers in various sizes – was glued on my wall flawlessly. My computer sat on a lovely birch desk from IKEA and my books were also perched in alphabetical order on a full-length birch bookcase from IKEA. Finally, my eyes came across the window seat that was built in front of my window. Charlie had built it for me just weeks before I moved here. It held various bits and bobs in the cabinet underneath.

I decided to move and sit there for a while, rather than sit on my bed any longer. Taking my throw with me, I sat down, wrapping the warm blanket around my shoulders and began to read the _Journal _once more.

_So anyway darling, where was I? Oh yes, I was about to start the journal with your first entry. Well enjoy it._

_My darling girl, if this has gone to plan, you should have turned sixteen today and Charlie gave you this before he went to work this morning. I hope he didn't peak at it before hand. He knows about it obviously, but this is between me and you and no one else. That is unless you wish to show someone it._

_So before we start, Happy sixteenth gorgeous. I can't believe my baby girl is now sixteen. I can remember when you were just born, a small package that made my heart burst with love. You were absolutely beautiful. That was the reason we decided to call you Isabella: Bella meant beautiful in Italian. But enough of the past lets move onto the future._

_Sixteen is a responsible age. You can now legally buy a lotto ticket (no point, never win babe), you can smoke, you can buy your own place, you can get married and more importantly, you can have sex legally._

_Now some important notices: first, NEVER EVER SMOKE. It is a horrible habit and hard to break once you have started. Now that I have that off my chest, we can move onto the more, detailed points._

_Moving out of Charlie's home and into your own house is a very important discussion that I think you should discuss in very grave detail with Charlie. I can understand the fact that you want freedom and your own life, but imagine having all those bills to deal with? Could you cope with that?_

_Getting married! Well, for a start, I got married young and look how that turned out: Charlie and I got divorced. I'm not saying don't get married young; just think about it in great detail._

_And last but not least - but you should be glad I am talking to you about it and not Charlie – sex._

_I immediately turned scarlet at the thought off having this discussion with either of my parents, but more importantly Charlie. I waited a moment until I could feel the heat leave my cheeks before continuing reading._

_Firstly remember everything you were taught in your social health classed. I know you know it all, so I won't explain it all again._

_Sex is different for boys and girls. Boys compete with other guys about who can loose their virginity first where as girls want to save it for that someone special and make sure their first time is perfect. This is not always the case: some boys want to make sure it is special and some girls are just sluts and really don't care._

_You won't remember me talking about Paula but she was the most popular girl at high school when I was there. She lost her virginity at the age of thirteen and would be sleeping with someone new every week. All the boys loved it, but in my opinion, I think that was because she was just – how would you say – easy._

As I finished reading this, my mind brought up images of Jessica and Lauren. They were the queen bees of Forks High. They were just like this Paula mum was talking about. I sighed but continued to read.

_Anyway enough about me, back to the conversation at hand. If you want to sleep with someone, you can. It's up to you but please, for the sake of your father and me you protection and don't do whilst drunk._

_Well before I go, I want to ask you something. At the end of each entry, there will be a new challenge for you to do and I want you to complete the challenge **before** you read the next entry. If you don't complete, don't read!_

_Love you always, mum_

_Xxxx_

_**Challenge: Bella, you have always been a shy child. I want you to go to school and make at least 3 new friends. If you complete this, you may read the next entry next year.  
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_**Again, love mom xx**_

I read the challenge bit over and over again, making sure that what I was reading was true. I had to go and make 3 new friends by next year. I might be shy, but I already have two friends. Why would I want anymore?

I let out the breath I was holding and decided, if my mother has asked me to do it, then I will find the courage to actually complete this task but I want to make sure that the friends I make, I actually stay in contact with and not just for the next month. That would not be fair to my mother.

I looked over to my alarm clock at the side of my bed. It read 7:45. Oh crap! I had forty-five minutes to get ready and get to school. Looks like today would be my first day of finding a friend.

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**A/N: hope you liked. please review and if I get 5 more reviews, I will post the second chapter. Emma x**


	3. Friends part one

**A/N: hey guys. so it seems to me that people are reading the story, but are commenting. I would really love some feedback as it helps me get better and right quicker.  
I'm glad that you seem to be enjoying it, but since no one has said anything, for all i know, you may hate the story.  
**

**I will always reply to your reviews just to let you know :)**

**so read and then review please :D**

**emma**

**x**

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**I walked as fast as I could in the direction of my class realising that when I pulled into the car park the second bell had just rang.

I got to the door of my tutor and opened it quickly and slammed it shut behind me. I looked up from the floor to see the class staring at me, as was the teacher. My cheeks instantly turned bright red but I walked quickly to the back to take a seat. I took out my book and began to read it, allowing Romeo and Juliet to calm me. I looked up when the teacher began to speak.

'Right class, now that we are all here,' I looked down when she glared at me. 'I can now introduce you to a new student. Her name is Alice Cullen and she just moved here from Alaska with her family.'

I glanced back up to see a small pixie like girl standing at the front of the class. Her skin was a white a snow and she had lips that looked like they were permanently stained red. Her hair was as dark as coal and was cut short – just below the ear – the ends sticking out. Her eyes, although from the back of the class was not very clear, looked to be a golden colour but I might have been mistaken. I came the conclusion that she was absolutely beautiful and would fit in perfectly with the popular crowd.

Sighing, I let my eyes fall back to my book. I heard the chair next to me screech loudly against the floor and I gazed back up to see Alice sitting next to me, staring at me with the largest smile on her face.

'Hi, I'm Alice as you already know.' She spoke with such enthusiasm that it was quite scary. Alice was practically bouncing out of her seat.

'Hi..I'm..Bella..Bella Swan.' I felt like an idiot as I stuttered. Seeing as she seemed like a lovely person, I decided she would be friend number one if I could ever not stutter when I spoke to her.

She just laughed lightly – the sound was beautiful. 'Hi Bella. It's nice to meet you,' She stuck her petite hand out in front of her and I shook it carefully. Alice looked so fragile.

Before I could say anymore, the bell rang, signalling the end of tutor but the beginning of advanced French. I sighed, before sliding my book back in my bag. I looked up at Alice to see her staring at a sheet of paper in front of her. Slyly looking over her shoulder, I noticed it was a map of the school.

'Alice,' I gasped slightly at the fact that I was speaking perfectly now. 'What subject do you have first?'

Alice glanced up. 'Advanced French.' She looked back at her map, her facial expression telling me she was concentrating very hard.

'I've got that as well. Would you like me to walk with you?'

'Yes please. Oh Bella you're a lifesaver. I really don't want to walk around school on the first day with the map right under my nose. I don't want to look like an idiot.'

I looked at her, my mind flashing back to my first day only two years ago. I had to walk around school for the first week using the map since no one offered to help me. Alice obviously sensed something because she apologised before the two of us headed in the direction of Madame Paul's classroom.

*

After French, I invited Alice to come and sit with myself, Rosalie and Jasper for lunch. I knew what it felt like to sit on your own and I didn't want that for Alice. She accepted with so much enthusiasm, I thought she might burst.

After collecting our food – my tray consisting of a slice of melon, a banana and a piece of chocolate brownie; Alice's consisting of a burger, chips and an apple – we wandered over to my usual table situated in the darkest corner of the canteen.

Rosalie was already sitting there when we approached. She looked at me before turning to look at Alice, who had actually gone silent. I smiled before introducing the two of them. Alice at once began to settle and before long, Rosalie and Alice were discussing about fashion.

I looked up to see three boys walking towards us. Jasper, who was in the middle, was good looking. His blonde hair was a little messy but his eyes were a joyous colour of blue. The guy on his right was big and muscular. He had a round head with short black hair. He was smiling at us as if he knew us all. But it was the guy on Jasper's left that caught my attention. He hung back a little behind the other two but I could still see him perfectly. His auburn hair sat wildly on his head and his piercing green eyes shone like emeralds. He seemed to catch all the girls' attention as he walked through the canteen looking like a god.

I was snapped out of my dream as I heard Rosalie shout 'Hey Jasper' at the same time as Alice shouted 'Hey Edward and Emmett.' So _that's_ who they were. They seemed to suit their names, but I wasn't quite sure why.

The three guys took the spare seats at our table and Jasper began to introduce us all but stumbled when got to Alice. I stepped in.

'Jasper, this is Alice Cullen. She is the sister of these two guys I presume?' I wasn't really asking anyone in particular, but the big guy names Emmett answered.

'Yeah. She is our little baby sister.' He earned a scowl from Alice at that remark which made us all laugh. We were acting as if we had all been friends for years. The only problem was Edward. Since sitting down, he hadn't said anything and hadn't touched his food once. He seemed to be deep in thought. I tried to ignore him and go back talking to my new friends. I, Bella Swan, actually managed to make friends! I know I had Rosalie and Jasper but we only became friends when we were paired together in art in first year as an assignment. We just sort of clicked. We've been through everything together: their parent's divorce; my mother's death; exams; boy trouble; girl trouble – almost everything you could think of. But now I had Alice and Emmett and, well, maybe Edward.

I smiled at everyone and continued eating. We chatted about nothing in particular, but when someone asked what we had next, everyone's answer was different: well almost.

'Art' said Alice in her high pitched hyper voice.

'History' said Jasper – a content smile on his face.

'Mechanics' said Rosalie and Emmett at the same time. Alice, Emmett and even Edward's moth fell open at Rosalie. She just shrugged and finished eating her lunch.

'Biology' I answer, hearing a velvety voice echo mine. I looked over to see Edward looking at me. I tried to work out what he was thinking but I came up with nothing. He turned away back to his lunch. I sighed, rather loudly, which cause Rosalie and Alice to look at me strangely, but I ignore them.

*

I walked into biology, greeted the teacher and Angela – another classmate who I got on well with – and went and sat in my seat. I pulled out my notes when I heard the door slam echoing loudly around the small, compact room. I didn't look up – too busy reading my notes – but I could hear the teacher talking.

'Hello Mr Cullen. Nice of you to join us. Here is your text book and find and empty seat and sit in it,' The teacher paused before speaking again. 'Right class, today we are going to…'

I didn't hear the rest because I looked up to Edward scanning the room for a spare seat, his eyes landing on the seat next time mine. I sighed. Why oh why did I have to have the only spare seat next to me? I continued to stare at him as he began to walk towards my desk, his emerald eyes glaring at me. What was his problem?

He sat down next to me and took out a pad of paper. At the top, he wrote his name before opening his textbook and beginning to listen to the teacher. I scanned his pad of paper to see his penmanship was beautiful: all elegant and neatly wrote.

'Hello Edward.' I whispered so Mr Banner would not here me. I looked up to see Edward still facing forward, looking intently at the board, which Mr Banner was now writing upon. He completely ignored me and I felt like a fool for even trying to talk to him. I gave up and started to listen to what Mr Banner was now talking about.

'…so I would like for you to get yourselves into pairs and begin to prepare your presentation on either diffusion, osmosis or active transport.' He smiled at the class before turning back to the blackboard and wiping off the notes.

I scanned the room, deciding whom to go with, my eyes landing on Angela. I smiled at her and made my way over to her.

'Hey Angela. Would you like to work with me?' She smiled sadly at me before replying that she was already working with Ben.

I wandered back to my desk trying to figure out who was sitting in my seat. As I got nearer, I recognised the person as Jessica. Her and Edward were deep in conversation. I didn't want to disturb them..oh what the hell! I hate her so much so…

'Edward,' I spoke quite confidently. 'Jessica,' I hissed through my teeth. Ignoring Jessica's mouth drop open, I asked Edward if he wanted to be my partner. He just looked at me, before shaking his head. Jessica turned to me and said she was already working with him.

I turned to notice Mike standing behind me. I nodded before he even said anything, already knowing he was going to ask me. He slipped me a bit of paper with his number, and signalled with hand to call him. I nodded once more before packing my things away, just in time for the bell to go.

Since Biology was a double period, I headed out to the car park, jumped in my car and drove home. For the full journey all I could think about was how to make Edward my friend. I had just under a month. I had no idea how I was going to since he didn't even seem to want to talk to me. I exhale noisily before getting out my truck, slamming the door – not hard enough for it too fall off though – and wandered up to my room.

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**A/N: you know what to do guys ;]**


	4. Friends part two

**A/N: Okay guys. It's good to see people are liking what I am writing, but I would really appreciate it if I recieved more reviews. It's the reviews that make me write quicker so keep them coming.  
Enjoy :)**

**emma**

**x

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**I walked into my room and shut the door behind me. I wasn't in the mood to be disturbed. I pulled the Journal out from underneath my pillow and flicked to the back of the book. I began to read.

_Miscellaneous: Friends. _

_Right darling. If your reading this bit, it's because either you want to make some friends or you're having trouble with the friends you have. _

_Well, I'll start with the having trouble with the friends you have bit. It's a little easier. If the reason you are having trouble is because you have fallen out over something, the best thing to do is be the bigger person and apologise, even if you did nothing wrong. _

_Now, trying to make friends. Bella, you were always a shy girl, but as you get older, you'll become more confident. Confidence is a key to finding friends. You need to be able to talk to them 'out of the blue' and make conversation with them. Find something you have in common and talk to them about it. For you, it could be your love of books or your love of music. Just get out there and go for it. _

_Love mum_

_Xxx_

I smiled at the fact that she remembered my love of music and books. I closed the Journal and put it back under my pillow just as the phone rang. I ran downstairs and answer it.

'Hello?'

'_Hello, is this the Swan residence?'_

'It is. May I ask who is calling?'

'_It's Alice Cullen. I was looking for a Bella.'_

'Hey Alice. It's me Bella. Sorry I sounded weird. I was just conscious of who was phoning.' I laughed, as did Alice.

'_It's okay Bella. I was worried about phoning you in the first place. I was actually calling to see if you wanted to hang out this weekend. Like meet up, go shopping and then come back to mine for a sleepover. I know we only met today but I seem like I've know you for –'_

'Alice,' I cut her off. 'Breathe. I know what you mean. I feel the same way too. To answer your question, Saturday sounds good. I'll just ask my dad. Hold on a sec.'

I dropped the phone and shouted at Charlie who replied yes. Picking up the phone, I couldn't hear anything.

'Alice..Alice!' I started to shout.

'_Hello, who is this?' a strange musical voice asked. _

'This is Bella. Where is Alice and who are you?'

'_Oh Bella. Erm, it's Edward. Alice is here. Bye.'_

I was confused as to why Edward was so upset to hear it was me, but also as to where Alice went.

'_Sorry Bella. Bathroom. So anyway, what did your dad say about Saturday?' _I could literately see Alice bouncing up and down waiting for an answer.

'Oh yeah, my dad says that is fine as long as I am back before dinner on the Sunday night seeing as it is a school night.'

Alice laughed but after a quick chat we said our good byes and I hung up.

*

The next day of school, I found out I had English with Alice. I ended up sitting with her and we talked non-stop, as our teacher wasn't in.

'Alice. Tell me about, erm, your brothers.' I dropped my head when I felt my cheeks turn red.

She laughed her beautiful laugh before beginning to recall many incidents with her brothers. I wasn't really paying attention until she started to get into more detail about Edward.

'Well when Edward was 16 he started to date this girl called Kate. She was beautiful, even I will admit that, but she was quite quiet. She looked like you. Actually, now I think about it, she looked a lot like you: shoulder length brown wavy hair with chocolate coloured eyes. The only difference was that she wasn't as pale as you.'

'What happened?' I asked, suddenly intrigued.

Alice paused for a moment, before continuing cautiously.

'Well, after about six months of dating, Kate's parent's were attacked whilst camping in the woods by a bear. Kate was so distraught that she didn't speak to anyone for ages. Edward was so worried about her that he didn't sleep or eat. In the end, after the two of them had been dating for about eight months, Kate was found hung in her room. Turned out she had committed suicide because she couldn't live anymore without her parents. She had been hanging in her room for two days and it explained why she never answer the door or her phone.'

I felt tears beginning to fill my eyes causing my site to go blurry. I wiped them away quickly, hoping Alice never saw.

'Oh my goodness! That's so shocking. Edward must have been so upset.'

'Upset doesn't even describe him. He still didn't eat, sleep or do anything. Just after his 17th birthday, Esme and Carlisle decided moving would be a good idea. That's why we came here. Edward still isn't over her and is still heartbroken.'

'Alice,' I paused whilst she looked up at me with sadness in her eyes. 'Do you think the reason Edward doesn't talk to me is because I look like her?'

'Bella, to be honest with you, I think so. He will be finding it hard to accept you since you look a lot like Kate. But Bella, don't get yourself worked up about it. He will come around eventually.'

Just then the bell rang and we headed to our next classes.

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I arrived a lunch feeling very good. Although I had not made friends with Edward, I managed to make a new friend in Art. Her name was Tanya and she was beautiful. Her hair was a light red colour that shaped her face perfectly. She was slightly taller than me, but definitely skinnier than me. We both loved music – although not necessary the same type – but we spent the whole of art discussing our opinions about different bands and drawing each other with charcoal. In the end we even swapped numbers so we could arrange to meet up at some point.

I grabbed my lunch: a chicken salad with a bottle of water, and headed to our table. I noticed everyone was already sitting around it in deep conversation. As I approached, Edward looked up, glanced once at me and then continued to eat his lunch. Emmett also looked up but unlike Edward, he smiled at me and pulled me into a huge hug. After releasing me and allowing me to get my breath back, I sat down and began to eat, saying hi to everyone. As the conversation flowed, I just sat back and listened.

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**A/N: hope you liked. you know what to do ;]**


	5. Hello My Love

_**A/N: Sorry guys for the slow update. It took some time to write and I had a lot on at school. It's the holiday's now so hopefully - fingers crossed - that I can get more written. Enjoy. **_

**_Reviews = quicker for chapter to be posted ;]_**

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_Hello my love. It's me again. _

_So you've survived another year without me. Well, I will always be with you – in your heart – but you know what I mean. _

_Seventeen aye? My baby's growing up quickly. I remember when you took your first step: your were eleven months and you were so clumsy – I suppose you still are. You had your father and I in tears of laughter but you were always just a bundle of joy. _

_Another year has past and it's time to start thinking about your future. It may seem like ages away, but trust me when I say it will pounce on you when you are least expecting it to. I want you to make the most of your last year at school before having to think about settling down. _

_Your probably wondering what your challenge is going to be, but patience is a virtue. I presume that since you are reading this, you have made new friends? Well, you wouldn't lie, so I'll take that as a yes. Good for you babe! It's good to know my baby girl is growing more confident everyday. _

I thought back over the past year and everything that has happened. Emmett and Rosalie got together not long after they met, as did Alice and Jasper. They made the cutest couples ever. I ached for a relationship like they have, but that wasn't going to happen in a million years.

I could still remember the night Alice and Rosalie decided to tell me.

**6 months earlier. **

_It was a late summer night, and Alice, Rosalie and myself were sitting in my room watching the latest romance film. We had all the windows open, the heat getting to us. We were dressed in the smallest jammies ever: Rosalie in a pair of short, tight red shorts with a white and red polka dot tank top; Alice in a pair of black shorts with a light green and blue striped tank top whilst I wore white shorts that just covered my bum with a black vest top. We all had our hair tied up – well except Alice since she couldn't – but we were all still feeling sticky._

_When the film finished, Alice and Rosalie glanced at each other before turning to me. I just looked at them curiously._

_'What?'_

_'Well,' Rosalie began._

_'RoseandmyselfaredatingEmmetandJasper.' Alice rushed out in one breath._

_I cocked my head to the side, completely blank as to what Alice had just said._

_'She said that myself and Alice are dating Emmet and Jasper.' Rosalie translated for me. I nodded, but dropped my head, annoyed. Why didn't they tell me?_

_'Before you say anything, we didn't tell you because it was only official yesterday.' Alice said sympathetically._

_I nodded, then looked up and smiled at them. They looked at me sceptically before I pounced on them and gave them a huge hug. After a moment, they began to hug back, clearly ecstatic that I had taken the news well._

**Present. **

I laughed lightly to myself and continued to read.

_So now it's time to reveal your new challenge. I want you to get out there and start it straight away. I have so much faith in your it's unbelievable. Enjoy._

_**Challenge: so, it's here. I want you to get out and find yourself a job. I know you well enough to know that you won't have one by now. (Laugh to myself) have a good time looking for one, but make sure it's something you will enjoy. Write up a CV and hand it in everywhere you wish to work; you may never know what will happen unless you take the chance. **_

_Love mum _

_Xxxxx_

I was surprised when the tears didn't fall. I knew I was missing my mum, but knowing she was with me made feel almost whole inside.

I got out from under the warmth of my duvet, having a sense of déjà vu. I went to the bathroom that was further down the hall from my room and locked the door behind me. Since it was a Saturday, I decided to have a bath, hoping it might relax my tense muscles. I ran the bath just high enough to surround my whole body with hot water and loads of strawberry smelling bubbles. I had my hair tied up so it was out of the way in attempt not to get it wet. I settled back, allowing my head to fall back slightly. I sighed in content. I was happy just sitting here. I soon began to think through things that had happen in my life: losing my mother; meeting the Cullen's; becoming close friends with them; eventually getting through to Edward; realising I liked him – a lot; Alice and Rosalie dating Jasper and Emmett; finding myself a third – or in some cases – fifth wheel.

I started to think about Edward. Everywhere I went I had images of those emerald green eyes or that auburn messy hair. I seemed to see him wherever I went. I knew I didn't want to take things fast considering what happened with Kate, but I really did like him. I was over the moon when we began to talk.

**8 months ago. 4 months after meeting the Cullen's.**

_'Bella, can we talk please?' I looked round to see Edward behind me, standing at the doorway of our biology class that I had just left. He looked rather sexy leaning against the doorpost with a crooked smile on his face. I smiled at him, before nodding slowly not wanting to sound so keen: he might want to tell me that he hates me and never wants to see me again._

_'Bella,' he paused, dragged me back in Mr Banner's room, which was not empty, before continuing. 'I am sorry for these past few months. I really am. Alice said she explained to you why. It was just hard for me to see you everyday. You just reminded me of her so much that it hurt. I just want to apologise and hope that you still wish for me to be your friend.' He looked at me hopefully._

_I paused. Was that all he thought of me? As a friend! I began to consider my options. 1. I nod and that's all we will ever be; 2. I tell him my feelings hoping he feels the same or 3. Tell him my feelings and he laughs in my face. I decided to go for option one. It was the safe option._

_'Yes Edward, I would still like to be your friend.' I hesitated. 'if you are sure you want to be mine.' I looked down at the ground, afraid of what the answer would be._

_He lifted my chin so I could see him nodding. I smiled and he smiled back. We just stared at us until we realised that we were late for class. We both headed off in the direction of our classes, saying a polite goodbye to each other._

**Present.**

As I finished reminiscing of the past, I got up out the bath, dried myself quickly and headed back to my room. I wandered over to the wardrobe and began to flick through the various items of clothing Alice had managed to squeeze into the rather compact space. As I decided what to wear, I also decided I would start my challenge today. I would write my CV, then after lunch head round stores handing them in. I smiled as I pulled out a pair capri trousers in a brown colour with a pale yellow vest top.

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**A/N: okay guys. hope you liked. please review ;] **

**emma xxxx**


	6. Job Time part one

**A/N: so here is the next chapter. hopefully it is okay and that the characters are written well. **

**Just want to say thanks to everyone who is supporting this story and a big thanks to _Ary911_ for the review they left.  
**

**Emma**

**x

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I fell back onto the couch exhausted. I had been round the whole of Forks and Port Angeles handing in CV's to anywhere that would take them. Most of the places informed me that I would be informed in the near future about a placement but it was the last two stores that caught my attention: a simple, yet rather busy music store and a quiet yet warm bookshop. I was hoping to get a job in either one of those stores, but I would just have to see how the future planned out.

I heard the ignition of a car turn off outside before heavy footsteps approached the front door. Moments later, I heard the door slam shut to see Charlie hanging his gun and keys up at the side of the door. I smiled at him, and headed into the kitchen to start cooking dinner.

'So Bella, how did the job hunting go today?' he looked at me curiously.

'It went well thank dad. Hopefully I'll get a job in either the music store or the bookshop in Port Angeles.' I turned away from the piece of meat I was seasoning to smile at him. Instead all I saw was an empty seat and the sound of the shower running. I sighed and went back to cooking.

*

'Bella? Hey Bella? Over here!' I twisted round to see a very enthusiastic Alice bouncing happily in her seat at our usual table. I wandered over and sat down in the spare seat in between Edward and Jasper.

'Hey guys!' I smiled at them and began to eat my tuna sandwich.

'You okay there Bella? You look awfully pale!' I recognised the velvet smooth voice to be Edward's. I wasn't really surprised that he was concerned. Ever since we had begun talking, things had gotten better between us.

I nodded but gave up eating and dropped my head to the table. I started to breathe slightly harder, almost as if struggling for air.

'I'm going to head out for some air guys.' I motioned toward the side door and got up, heading in the direction. I was feeling really dizzy and after a moment I began to stumble rather than walk straight. I could feel my eyelids dropping and I heard my name called out in different tones: some scared; some shocked. I began to fall forward and that was the last thing I remembered along with some people screaming and someone cradling me in their arms.

*

_Miscellaneous: Jobs/Careers._

_So by looking up this section, you must either be on challenge two of this book or you want independence and a chance to earn your own money. _

_There's not really much I can say about jobs since I was never good at sticking with the one thing. You are probably better asking your father. _

_So anyway, it's good to know that you wish to earn your own money. That shows you are ready for responsibility and want to become more independent with your life. _

_My mother always taught me that when first starting out, go for the simple jobs like babysitting your local neighbour or helping out a neighbour with shopping or gardening. I never listened to my mother and went straight for the big jobs: working behind a till; helping in a bar; becoming a personal shopper (I didn't do that. Didn't have enough knowledge about fashion). _

_I've known you for fourteen years darling and I know that if you put your mind to something, you will achieve it, so head out there and go for what you want to do. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise. _

_Interviews_

_Ah the famous interview with your employee (hopefully). Well here is a few pointers for your interview:_

_Wear something suitable: a suit or a nice pair of trousers (not jeans) and a nice blouse._

_When talking to the interviewer, make sure you actually know what job you are applying for._

_Always make it seem like you know what you are talking about and show an actually interest in the company etc._

_It worked for me every single time I went for a job interview so hopefully it will work for you. Good luck my baby._

_ Mum_

_ Xxx_

I chuckled at the pointers mum had given me for interviews. Trust mum to go to an interview where she didn't actually know what job she was applying for. I smiled before closing the book over and slipping it back under my pillow. I settled back and had just closed my eyes when I heard the door creak open slightly. I opened one eye to see Alice, Emmett, Rosalie and Jasper come through the door, each of them carrying something different: grapes, a card, a bunch of flowers and a teddy bear. I giggled at the teddy bear seeing that it wore a t-shirt with a picture of the six of us jumping on the Cullen's trampoline. I remember the day it was taken.

_It was three days after Alice's birthday and she was having us over for the day to celebrate. Since she was full of energy, her parents, Esme and Carlisle bought her a trampoline in attempt to tire her out ever so often._

_We decided that the six of us wanted to go on but there wasn't much room. Esme had managed to snap a few photos of us bouncing not so high in the air; all of us laughing our heads off at the face Emmett made trying to concentrate not falling off the edge._

_We ended up getting off, only to move to the side of the pool to sunbathe since the weather was fantastic. The girls striped down to their brand new bikinis and settled on a deck chair each whilst the guys ran in and grabbed some towels for us._

_The guys jumped in the pool, laughing and splashing each other whilst the girls listened to music pumping loudly out of the stereo. After a moment, it went rather quiet except for the music so I slid my sunnies off in time to have Edward pick me up bridal style and chuck me into the pool. Thing was, I held tightly onto his arms so he came right in with me almost swallowing half the pool in shock._

_Once his head popped back up he glared at me before laughing. I turned to see Emmett and Jasper had done the same to Rosalie and Alice and soon after we were playing a rather competitive game of water polo._

'Hi guys!' I smiled at them before waving to the seats around me.

'We're sorry if we woke you. We thought you would be awake though since it's half three and you normally are awake and we decided to come and visit so-'

'Shut up Emmett' we all but shouted at him before bursting into hysterics.

He scowled until Rosalie gave him a gentle kiss on the cheek and his frown turned upside down.

'So how are you feeling Bella?' I heard Alice ask, obviously concerned. I didn't blame her since I did collapse yesterday at school.

'I'm a lot better now.' I smiled at her trying to convince her. She seemed to accept my answer since she didn't pester me anymore. 'Where's Edward?' I asked subtly.

Rosalie and Alice looked at each other, nodding as if confirming each other. I looked between the two of them.

'Well?'

'Edward you ask? Well he..he is umm on a date at the moment.' Alice looked at me with sorrow in her eyes. She knew that I had started to like her brother a while back, but never mentioned it to anyone other than Rose.

'A date? Who with?' I was now beginning to become curious. She heisted before answering.

'Erm, you know that girl from drama class, Claire?' I nodded. Claire was gorgeous: her blonde hair fell perfectly straight to just below her shoulder blades; her eyes were a piercing blue colour – kind of like Jasper's; she was medium height but rather underweight if you asked me.

'Oh' was all I managed. I looked away from them all, trying to compose myself before turning back to them.

'Bella? Are you okay?' I saw Jasper looking at me, worried. I forgot he didn't know about my little crush.

'Yeah,' I nodded. 'Just peachy thanks.' I could tell he knew something was up, but like Alice, he didn't push for more information unlike Emmett.

'Oh my goodness Bella. You like Edward. Hah! I knew it. Didn't I tell you Rose?'

'Yes you did Emmett. Now shut up.' Emmett actually looked pretty upset that Rose just told him to shut up, but he shut his lips. He looked up at me and I could feel the familiar blush creep up into my cheeks.

'Oh! Bella,' He came over and gave me a light hug: the complete opposite of his usual bear like hugging.

'It's okay Emmett. If he wants to date someone, I can't stop him. He doesn't even know I like him' I smiled at him when I heard the door open. Or so I thought.

Edward was standing with the door closed behind him.

'Who doesn't know you like him?'

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**A/N: hope you liked. please review. **


	7. Job Time part two

**A/N: so ended on a cliffhanger last time. Read on to find out what happens.

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**

I sat shocked to know that he had heard the conversation. I blushed and looked away. Alice noticed and saved me.

'Hey Edward! How was _Claire_?' She asked bouncing out of her seat. I was looking back at everyone and I noticed Edward hesitate slightly before answer.

'She was fine.' He was looking at me with his piercing green eyes whilst he answers. I thought I saw different emotions behind them, but couldn't work them out.

'Fine? Fine? That's all your going to say? We're not going to get any juicy gossip about how perfect your date was?' Alice asked, pouting afterwards. He shook his head and I was about to answer him when Emmett joined in.

'Aw come on Eddiekins. You know you want to tell us. Please Eddi-'

'I SAID NO EMMETT.' I jumped a little at the anger in Edward's voice. I was curious as too why he didn't want to talk about it but didn't question him. I just sat there staring at him as he stared at his palms.

We all sat in silence, not quite sure what to make of Edward's outburst. I was beginning to get slightly uncomfortable so began to shuffle around a little in my bed causing it to squeak. Everyone looked at me and I just shrugged causing them to laugh at me. Blushing, I let my head fall back against the pillow and closed my eyes listening to the conversation that had begun in the room.

*

'Bella?' I opened my eyes to see Dr Cullen staring down at me. He laughed at my shocked face before taking a step back. 'I have come to talk to you about why you fainted.

'Uhuh. What's up?' I was a little worried but maintained relaxed.

'Well Bella, there is nothing completely wrong with you. The only reason I can come up with about why you fainted is because you had a shock or something. Can you remember if you did before you fainted?'

'Erm, no. I don't think I did. I don't the fact that Alice was almost bouncing out her seat gave me a shock. I'm used to it.' I laughed, trying to lighten the mood.

'Well Bella, other than that, you are free to go. Just take it easy in the future.' I nodded and he headed out. I sighed and fell back asleep again, tired beyond belief.

*

'Can I help you at all?' The guy standing in front of me didn't even look up at me as he shook his head. 'Okay, I'll leave you to it then'

I wandered away, walking up and down the few aisles. I noticed that there was another guy standing with two books in his hand obviously trying to choose which one. I strolled up to him and offered my help.

'Yes please. I'm not sure which one to choose.' He looked back down at the books before showing me the titles: Romeo and Juliet or Midsummer Night's Dream.

'Hmm, well if you want my opinion, I would go for Romeo and Juliet. Have you read either or know what they are about?' He looked at me and shook his head, obviously a little ashamed. 'Well Romeo and Juliet is a love story. Romeo, a Montague falls in love with Juliet who is a Capulet. Basically, their families hate each other and it is difficult for them to be together. Some fighting scenes and in the end, they both die.'

'Well that sounds, erm, interesting.' I laughed.

'A Midsummer Night's Dream is where four young lovers and a group of peasant actors head for the forest with pledged troths and the hope of the perfect rehearsal space. Caught up in Midsummer magic and an argument among fairy fold, the mortals suffer much mischief in the woods before they can return to reality. It's fantasy. Both book are definitely worth reading but I think you would prefer Romeo and Juliet.'

He nodded and slipped Midsummer Night's Dream back onto the shelf. He turned and stuck his hand out. 'I'm Ethan.' I took his hand and replied.

'Isabella, but I prefer Bella.' I smiled at him. 'If you need any more help, don't be afraid to ask. Otherwise, I'll be at the till. I walked away and slipped behind the till, ringing up a couple of books that someone was wishing to buy. The lady paid and then left, leaving a scent of lavender in the air.

I loved my new job. I worked in the bookstore in Port Angeles: one of the jobs I wanted in particular. It was great! I only had to work weekends and even then it was only five hours a day. I heard the bell ring, signalling the door had opened. I looked up to see Edward standing at the door, shaking the rain from his hair. I laughed and said hello. He said hi back and headed to the books.

'Hey Bella?' I looked up to see Ethan walking towards me.

'Yes?'

'Erm, oh, actually doesn't matter. I'll take these please.' I noticed he had picked up another few books – most of them were Ian Rankin: The Inspector Rebus series.

'Okay,' I rang them up and he handed the money over. 'Anything else Ethan?' I noticed he paused and cleared his throat a little before answering.

'Umm, yeah actually there was. I was wondering if you wanted to maybe go out for dinner sometime?' He looked down at his feet, breathing deeply.

I paused. Ethan seemed like a nice guy and he certainly looked gorgeous. His dark black hair was cut perfectly with just a little bit falling over the front of his face, hiding his mysterious grey eyes. He was tall and you could tell he worked out. I didn't know if I wanted to go on a date with him though. I still liked Edward – a lot – but maybe giving him a try would keep my mind off of him.

I looked up at him to see Edward standing just behind him in the que. I stuttered my answer, all the time watching Edward's reaction.

'Erm, yeah okay. That would be nice Ethan.' I smiled sincerely at him before looking back at Edward. His lips were set in a straight line. He walked away and put his books back before walking out the shop. What was _his_ problem? I sighed and continued to talk to Ethan for a few moments before he had to leave.

'Here's my number. Call me when you get some time to meet up. It was nice meeting you Bella. Hope to see you soon.' He waved and walked out the store, smiling like a Cheshire cat. I watched him climb into his car and drive off before looking up at the clock: five past four. I was meant to finish my shift five minutes ago so went to the back and collected my stuff before handing the keys over to Eric who was just starting his shift. I said goodbye and headed out to my car.

*

'Hey Ali!' I help the phone closer to my ear in attempt to hear her slightly better. 'Where the hell are you? I can't hear a thing'

'Erm, we're at home. Esme decided to throw one of her random parties. I'm standing right next to a speaker. Hold on whilst I move.' I heard her shuffle a little and the music fade away into the background. 'Bella you still there?'

'Yeah I'm here. What's the party for?'

'Esme decided to have family over since the weather was meant to be nice today. We're having a barbeque. You should head over now if that's you finished.'

'It's okay Alice. I have homework to be getting on with. I'll see you at school on Monday yeah?'

'You sure?' she pestered.

'Yeah definitely.'

'Okay, see you Monday morning then. Edward and I will pick you up 'kay?'

'Umm sure. See you' I hung up and chucked my phone on my bed. I pulled my textbook closer to me and continued to read the chapter on mutation. Urgh! How I hated Human Biology.

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**A/N: hope you liked. review s'il vous plait. **


	8. Hello My Baby

**A/N: Right I am away for my holiday..only up north so still cold...won't be updating, hence the reason for three in one day. You should think yourself lucky guys and in return i would love some reviews please. **

**So another year has passed. Hopefully you will like this chapter. I am having a good laugh writing chapter eight and nine at the moment. So please be patient. **

**Emma**

**x

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**_Hello My Baby. _

_Happy birthday darling! Your eighteen now and last year of school before having to head to university/college or even getting a permanent job. I am so proud of you honey. I know that you are doing well for yourself in school and maybe even got a boyfriend._

I smiled, knowing that it was slightly true. Ethan and I had finally met up again for our date and he was a real gentle man.

**A week after meeting Ethan. **

_I stood in front of the mirror admiring the work Alice had done to transform me. I actually looked good tonight. I was told to wear something formal and Alice took the chance to create a new dress for me: an Alice Original she called it. It was a strapless black dress that fell to just above my knees hugging all the correct curves. The under layer hung slightly lower than the actual dress, showing a slight rim of green material at the bottom of the dress. The black material was covered in small green specks of sequences that sparkled under the light. I slipped on the pair of small heels just as the bell went and I walked carefully down the stairs._

'_Wow,' was all I got when I finally opened the door. I let his eyes roam my body a little before saying hello. 'Hi Bella. You look wonderful.' He picked up my hand and lightly kissed the back of it. He walked me out to his car and drove us to a small restaurant in Port Angeles that looked really welcoming. _

_Once shown to our seats and received our drinks, I finally felt relaxed. We talked about nothing in particular. I learnt about his family and his sister, Emily and some of his friends and I talked about my family and friends. The night overall went well. _

_He drove me home at about nine o'clock since my father wanted me back for ten at the latest. Being the gentleman I knew he was, he walked me to my door and kissed me on the cheek goodnight before driving away into the night. I smiled like a giddy little child and headed inside. _

Ever since then, we had been seeing a lot of each other and it seemed to be going well. We had been dating officially for about six months now and I was really happy. I still like Edward but I really liked Ethan so everything was okay.

_Okay darling, your probable wondering what your challenge is for this year. Well you'll just have to wait until I reminisce about my eighteenth birthday. _

_Your grandparent's decided to go out for a meal as a family, which I thought was boring, but was made to go. Anyway, it turned out to be a disaster: Uncle Ben, aged six at the time was ill and threw up all over the table; your granddad actually had a heart attack but survived and I nearly died of embarrassment. _

_Hopefully you will make yours more entertaining and definitely more memorable. So anyway darling, your challenge:_

_**Challenge: Bella, Bella, Bella. You have always been sensible, well at least for the fourteen years I knew you but I suppose you still are. Old habits are hard to grow out of. I want you for your challenge to do sometime new and silly. Its up to you what it is, but if you don't think it counts, do something again and keep going until you think you have completed this challenge. **_

_Love you always Bella_

_Mum_

_xxx _

I laughed at my challenge. My mum knew me to well to know that I did nothing out of the ordinary. I phoned Alice the minute I finished reading and she was on her way here, picking Rose up along the way.

I heard the doorbell go and before going to answer, I made sure I hid the Journal away from sight.

'Hey guys!' I saw them already sitting on the couch in the living room when I walked down. I must have forgot to lock the door.

'What's up Bella?' they never said anything about birthday, but that was because I saw them earlier before I read the Journal. They had stopped by before having to head out for a family lunch. I didn't mind though. I spent lunch with Charlie before he had to head off to work.

'Nothing, I was just trying to decided what to do for my birthday. I was thinking something we haven't done before and something silly or wacky. What cha' think?' I looked over to them for the armchair to see them with the mouth open wide, jaws almost hitting the floor.

'Bella are you feeling okay? You never suggest something like that.' Alice asked after she managed to compose her self.

'Yeah I feel great. I know I don't but since I'm eighteen today I thought I would try something different, like something the complete opposite of me.' I saw Rose smirk at Alice and knew they had something planned. 'What is it guys?'

'Well,' Rose started. 'Alice and I heard there was the new club opening in Port Angeles and was wondering if you wanted to go for your birthday?'

That was definitely something I hadn't done before, but was it stupid enough? I think it was. I chuckled before answer. 'Just the three of us yeah? Sounds good guys. When do you want to go?'

'Actually Bella, we wanted to bring the guys as well. It will be soooo much funner that way. Please Bella?' Alice was sitting on the edge of the couch now, her bottom lip stuck out. I considered it a moment before nodding my head. 'Thank you Bella. Now we will leave at half eight so we have,' she checked her phone for the time. 'Five hours to get an outfit for you and get you looking even more gorgeous than normal.'

I laughed and nodded and the three of us headed for the mall, all of us in need of some sexy new outfits. Tonight was unquestionably going to be new and silly.

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**A/N: okay so you probably have an idea of what is going to happene but hey ho. enjoy x**


	9. New and Silly part one

**A/N: Hey guys! I'm soory it took so long. A had a few weeks/months where I just didn't write at all. It's bad, I know, but I do that often. I'll write for a while then stop for a while. **

**Anyway, this chapter is longer just to apologise. I hope you like. **

**P.S I won't be updating much. Prelims in a few weeks so got to study and then Exams in May :O

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**

As we walked into the club, the smell of sweat and perfume mixed together hit me. It was so loud in hear yet I could still hear Alice ask me to dance. I nodded and the three of us girlies left the guys and headed out to the dance floor. We had to squeeze through the throng of people before finding enough space for the three of us to dance.

The three of us were dressed in new outfits. We had spent the afternoon shopping with the girls dragging me round all the shops: even Victoria Secrets. Alice and Rosalie had managed to persuade me to buy the shortest of the three outfits I tried on. We decided to go casual yet sexy. Alice was wearing a small waist skirt that was a shocking blue colour with a plain white vest top and a blue clip in bow in her spiky hair. Rosalie was wearing a small dress that barely covered her backside. It had thin straps and didn't cover much of her back and dropped low at the front, revealing some cleavage. It was a gorgeous green colour. Her hair cascaded down her back in blonde waves. They both looked stunning but according to them, I had the biggest transformation.

Instead of my regular jeans and a tank top that I wore, Alice decided to take control of my outfit. It consisted of a very short pair of black denim shorts; a lipstick red vest top that clung tightly to my body and a pair of matching red heels that I could just walk in. Rose decided to leave my hair down in small tight curls. Even I agreed with them that I looked completely different.

As we were dancing to Low by Flo Rida, I looked over to see Jasper and Emmett on the floor above, leaning sexily against the railing, looking down on us. They all held a pint glass and I smiled and waved at them. They waved back and I went back to dancing, allowing my hips to sway with the beat of the music. I caught Alice's eye and signalled that I was away for a drink. She just laughed and continued to dance with Rosalie.

The bar was overflowing with bodies crushed closely together. I pushed myself through the swarm of people, elbowing someone, before finally reaching the bar. I ordered myself a gin and tonic and once again, squeezed my way through the crowd. I headed up to where the guys were to have a quick conversation with them.

'Hey guys!' I smiled and stood in between Emmett and Jasper. 'How's it going?'

'Hey Bella! It's good thanks. It's a great club that the girls chose but on the other hand, what the hell did they do to you?' Emmett said acting serious.

'What you don't like it?' pouting out my bottom lip.

'Of course I do Bella. I was just joking with you. Every single guy in the club likes it. They can't keep their eyes off of you,' He laughed lightly before turning serious. 'I'm going to make sure none of them step out of line.' He smiled. Emmett was definitely the best _fake_ brother you could get.

'Thanks Emmett.'

'So where's Ethan then?' Jasper turned round, asking me with some anger in his tone. I know Emmett and himself didn't like Ethan. Heck, I knew that Rose and Alice didn't like him either but I did.

A few months back Ethan and I had a fight: our first serious one. It was over the stupidest of the things but it got way out of control and Alice and Rosalie ended up being involved. Details don't matter though. Basically Ethan thought I was cheating and we argues constantly for a while until Rose and Alice pulled him up. The three fought and then I became involved even more: Ethan thought I was cheating on him with Edward. Long story short, we didn't speak to each other for a week. Emmett and Jasper don't like him cause thought Ethan was a prick for thinking I would cheat.

'I don't know. I don't care.' I turned my back on them and sipped my drink.

Jasper put his hand on my shoulder and asked what was up. I could sense the concern in his voice. I was meant to be happy tonight but I wasn't. I explained to them that Ethan and I broke up. He had came round earlier and explained that it wasn't me it was him etc.

'Aw Bells.' Emmett pulled me into one of his bear hugs and I held back the tears. He let go and I stood against the rail watching Alice and Rose dance to Broken Heels by Alexandra Burke. I heard Emmett and Jasper begin to talk about the latest football scores so I blocked them out, not caring about that sport.

'Bella?' I turned to see Edward standing a bit away from me, his eyes travelling my body: up and down, up and down. His eyes stopped at my face, his green eyes suddenly turned black.

'Edward.' I whispered. I was gob smacked at how unbelievably gorgeous he looked. He was dressed in black jeans with a white shirt, which he had rolled the sleeves up to his elbow, and a pair of black shoes. He hadn't done anything with his hair: it still sat messily on top of his head, sticking out in various directions. I grabbed onto the railing to stop me falling over.

I heard a pair of snickers from beside me and turned to see Emmett and Jasper holding in their laughter. I just glared at them and they shut up and headed off to see their girls. I turned to see Alice and Rose looking up at me with confused looks. I just shook my head at them and turned back to Edward who was now standing right in front of me. It had been over two years since I met Edward and boy had he changed. Although his signature hair stayed the same, he had grown and you could tell he worked out more. Under that white shirt, his abs were flawless and perfect and were his biceps.

'Bella, what happened to you?' Edward was standing completely straight, his face a mask hiding his thoughts.

'Umm nothing. Why?'

'You look…different…very different.' He stuttered, choosing his words carefully. He dropped his shield for a moment and I tried to work out what he was feeling through his eyes. Lust? Shocked? I couldn't tell: he brought his shield back up too quickly.

'Erm, thanks?' I said not sure if a statement or a question. 'It was Rose and Alice. They decided to give me a makeover for my birthday. What cha' think?' I gave a quick spin on the spot so he could see me better.

He opened his mouth to speak and then closed it, looking like a goldfish. His eyes grew wide for a moment before he rushed off, disappearing into the thick crowd of people. I was officially confused but I didn't have time to ponder over my thoughts: Alice had run up beside me and was dragging me to the dance floor again. This time the music was more upbeat. I looked around to see everyone dancing close to each other, some girls – Alice and Rose – grinding up against their partners. I felt like the fifth wheel again so excused myself to go the bathroom.

*

I came out the bathroom after freshening up to see Edward standing alone at the railing, looking down at the swarming dance floor. I went up behind him and tapped him on the shoulder, causing him to jump slightly.

'Bella, hey! Sorry about earlier. Happy birthday by the way.' He gave me a hug, lingering a little rather than pulling back quickly like he normally does. A moment later, his arms fall from behind me and he tucks his hands into his front pockets, his posture giving off an impression that he is nervous.

'Thanks. Want to dance?' I look up to see him looking back at me, almost staring.

'Sure. Sounds good.' He smiled, took my hand and dragged me to the dance floor. He spun me around when we got to the others and we began to dance as a group. Even though this was a nightclub, the DJ, for some reason, put a slow song. A couple of people groaned but most of us just went along with it: that was until I realised I had no one to dance with.

I felt a tap on my shoulder and looked round to see a handsome guy standing before me. He was slightly taller than Edward – making me feel like a dwarf – but his hair was short, spiky and coal black; his eyes were a dusky grey colour; he was a lovely golden colour with a tattoo on his left arm and to completely this stranger off, he was very well built.

He smiled at me politely and asked if I wished to dance with him. I turned round to see Alice and Rose smiling but the three guys all standing shoulder to shoulder with straight faces. I was confused as too why but I ignored them. As I was about to answer him, someone wrapped their arm possessively around my waist, pulling me towards their chest and answered that I was to dance with them. I turned to see that the person was Edward, his voice angrier than normal and his eyes dark.

I apologised to the man and turned to dance with Edward, giving him a slight push away from me. I glanced over at Alice and Rose, one of my eyebrows raised but they just shook their heads. I shrugged to no one in particular and looked up at Edward. He had calmed down now and asked if I wanted to dance with him.

Unaware if I would be able to answer, I just nodded my head and wrapped my arms around his neck. His arms wrapped themselves around my waist and pulled me closed to him. I didn't know where to look so just looked straight in front of me, my eyes landing on the bottom of his neck.

'Bella, why do you not look up at me?' he asked.

I didn't answer; instead I just looked up at his face. He smiled and we began to sway to the music. I could hear Edward singing quietly into my ear.

_It's amazing how you can speak to my heart,_

_Without saying a word, you can light up the dark._

_Try as I may I could never explain,_

What I hear when you don't say a thing.

_The smile on your face lets me know that you need me,_

_There's a truth in your eyes saying you'll never leave me._

_The touch of your hand says you'll catch me wherever I fall,_

_You say it best when you say nothing at all._

Edwards' voice was beautiful and he sung the song perfectly, never going out a tune. I didn't expect anything less since he was a perfectionist. As the music continued, everyone around me was drowned out at the sound of Edward's voice.

_All day long I can hear people talking out loud,_

_But when you hold me near you drown out the crowd._

_Try as they may they could never define,_

_What's been said between your heart and mine._

_The smile on your face lets me know that you need me,_

There's a truth in your eyes saying you'll never leave me.

_The touch of your hand says you'll catch me wherever I fall,_

_You say it best when you say nothing at all._

Edward pulled me close to him and stopped singing. I looked up to see him staring at me, his beautiful emerald eyes gazing into my plain brown ones. I don't know why, but at that moment I leaned up and kissed him. It could have been the alcohol or that I was just being stupid but it happened. My arms tightened around his neck but I could feel Edward freeze under my grip. I stood back, letting my arms fall to see Edward still looking down at me, his face set in a straight line, his eyes giving away nothing. I turned to see the others looking at us and I could feel my cheeks turn crimson. I looked back at Edward, who had completely let go of me and had taken a step back. That was all it took for me to feel the tears in my eyes. I did my best to keep them from falling but failed. One by one they trickled down my cheeks, leaving a wet trail. I saw Edward move forward to wipe them away but I took a step back. Without looking back, I turned and ran for it.

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**A/N: I hope you liked it. Reviews are welcome and eventually, I will write back to them all. :)**

**Emma**

**x  
**


	10. New and Silly part two

**A/N: okay. don't shout. I know it's been a while but I'm in the middle of my prelims at the moment, so be glad that you're even getting this chapter. Only one more exam to go anyway so it's all good. :)**

**Hope you like this. I really enjoy writing it. This is definitely my favourite story.**

**Just to let you know, see how Bella gets challenges at the end of each journal entry, well i'm struggling for ideas so ideas are welcome! :D**

**Emma**

**x  
**

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_The smile on your face lets me know that you need me,_

_There's a truth in your eyes saying you'll never leave me._

_The touch of your hand says you'll catch me wherever I fall,_

_You say it best when you say nothing at all._

_You say it best when you say nothing at all._

_You say it best when you say nothing at all._

_The smile on your face,_

_The truth in your eyes,_

_The touch of your hand lets me know that you need me._

As the song came to an end, I was leaning over the bathroom sink, tears falling constantly. I heard the door open and saw Alice and Rose walk in.

'Bella, honey. Come here.' Alice took me into a hug, and Rose also wrapped her arms around me.

'What happened out there?' Rose asked concerned.

Through my tears, I blubbered out the scenario from me asking him to dance, to the kiss, to me running into the bathroom. They let me speak before asking questions: 'Why did you kiss him?' 'Why did you dance with him if it was a slow song?' and Rose, being Rose, asked: 'Was he a good kisser?' At that I turned and looked at her and bursting into fits of laughter.

'Hey Bella, I'm being serious. Was he a good kisser?'

'He didn't really kiss me back. He froze when I kissed him and then I pulled back before running.' Alice and Rose just looked at me. 'What?'

'You definitely did something new and silly tonight. You kissed Edward! The old Bella Swan would never have done that. I'm going to have to choose your outfits more often for you: seems to give you more confidence.' I laughed at Alice's optimism and after drying my tears and fixing my make-up; we went back out to the party.

The three of us hit the dance floor straight away and noticed that the guys had dispersed from the scene. We danced together, our hips shaking in time with each other; our hands above our heads pumping to the beat of the music. At about midnight, we were exhausted and our feet were killing us. We decided to head home, so went to trail and grab a cab.

I noticed Jasper and Edward standing outside already and Emmett's head popping out of the window of a cab. I smiled at Emmett and walked over to the cab, slipping in beside him. Rose sat on his knee, Edward in the front and Jasper next to me with Alice on his knees. During the ride I realised I hadn't seen Edward the whole night since our dance, only Emmett and Jasper when they cared to join us on the overcrowded dance floor.

Maybe I was being a complete idiot kissing him, but one good thing came out of the night: I would get to read my next chapter, even if it was another year away.

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**Edward Point of View**

'…and Bella really came up with this idea? Okay, sure. Will see you tonight! Bye Alice.' I heard Emmett shout loudly down the phone.

'What's up Emmett?' I asked, my curiosity getting the better of me. At the mention of Bella a tingle went down my spine and I could feel the smile slowly creep up on my face. The first few months living here were definitely the worst. Seeing her everyday, reminding me of…of…my ex, was beyond painful but as time tore on, I got used to her and began to depend on Bella. She was, without doubt, my best friend.

'Nothing much, we're going out tonight though. Don't make any other dates. Not that I think you will since you head over heels in love with Bella, but anyway: just don't!'

I stared at him, open mouthed as if I had just been slapped.

'Hey Edward, we all know it's true, except Bella, who is just as blind as you are. As I was saying, we're out partying tonight. Bella wants to go out clubbing to celebrate her eighteenth. You better be in!'

I nodded, still unable to say anything and walked away up to my room. Half way up the stairs, I got my voice back. 'What time Emmett?'

'Erm, Alice said about half eight.'

'Okay.'

I wandered up to my room, closing the door behind me and fell back against my bed. I exhaled out loudly. I didn't love Bella. At least I don't think I did. I lay on my bed with only the sound of Jasper and Emmett playing _Mario Kart_ on the Wii.

After what seemed like a few hours, but only turned out to be half an hour, I got up and ran down the stairs. Emmett and Jasper were still playing _Mario Kart_.

'Just heading out guys. I'll be back in a few hours.' The sounds of their grunts told me they didn't care so I wandered out and drove to Port Angeles.

*

I knew I was late, but I knew Bella wouldn't mind: as long as I was there, she wouldn't care that I didn't get the cab with them. I walked into the bar, taking in the music that was being played loudly. I could see Alice and Rosalie down on the ground, swaying to the music and laughing. I smiled and continued to find the guys. I could see them standing at the railing talking to a dark haired girl. She looked amazing from behind in her short, black shorts and a simple red vest top. I smiled before I realised Jasper say her name. That was Bella? Oh god! She looked unbelievably drop-dead gorgeous.

'Bella?' She turned slowly, saying my name, her eyes wide open. My eyes roamed her body, taking in her curves before letting my eyes fall on her face. Her skin, although quite pale, was smooth and perfect and her cheeks were a lovely ruby colour; her lips were full and plump and had been covered in a thin layer of gloss, making them shiny under the light; and finally her eyes. If you looked into them deeply you could see every emotion Bella was thinking. They were the deepest of chocolate colours ever and they sparkled with happiness.

'Bella, what happened to you?' I asked, hoping that I managed to keep my face straight.

'Umm nothing. Why?'

'You look…different…very different.' I just couldn't think of anything else to say. I, Edward Cullen, was actually speechless. I opened my mouth to try and say something again, but I made the stupid mistake of allowing my eyes to follow her pale skin down her neck and to the top of her top - which cut quite low – and my mind wandered. Various images popped up into my head of Bella dressed and undressed. Oh Shit! My eyes grew wide and I lowered my hands and ran. I headed straight for the bathroom and into the cubicle to try and relax.

*

After a few minutes I wandered back out of the bathroom. I walked over to where Bella and the guys were but they had disappeared. I sighed and rested my elbows on the railing, watching the dancers swaying to the music. Someone tapped my shoulder and I jumped. I turned, my heart still beating really fast, to see Bella staring up at me.

'Bella, hey! Sorry about earlier. Happy birthday by the way.' I gave her a hug, lingering for a moment or two before dropping my hands and taking a step back, still staring at her. I didn't want to have a replay of last time.

'Thanks. Want to dance?' she asked politely. Okay, now I may have only known Bella for a couple of years, but I know her well enough to know that she doesn't ask people to dance: she hates dancing. Since it's her birthday though, if she asks, I'll do. I agree and I take her hand and we head out to dance floor, squeezing through the crown in attempt to get near the others. I spin her once and then the DJ changed to music: a slow song. I looked around at Bella to see if she wished to dance to see another guys already asking her. Okay, so she may not be my girlfriend but this guy was asking for trouble. Bella will not dance with him and anyway, she already asked me to come and dance with her.

Emmett and Jasper let go of the girls and stood next to me, shoulder to shoulder. It was if we were all thinking the same thing. I walked up to Bella, wrapped one arm around her and pulled her towards me. I just stared at the guy before speaking.

'She's already dancing with me. You can run back to your friends now.' I smirked at him and looked at Bella who had turned back to the man, apologised for some obscure reason and pushed me away. We went back to our crowd and I asked her to dance with me. She agreed and wrapped her arms around my neck loosely whilst I wrapped mine around her waist. She wasn't looking at me and I asked why, wondering if she was mad. She didn't answer but she did look up with a smile on her face. I knew then that everything was alright.

I began to sing quietly into her ear, the words flowing flawlessly from my mouth. As the song came to the end, I pulled Bella closer to me intending to say something to her, but she leaned up and kissed. Either she was drunk or Emmett was right: she did like me. I was in shock that before I could return the kiss, she had already pulled away, her eyes filled with tears. My arms fell to my side and her cheeks turned that lovely crimson colour. I looked around to see the others staring at us. I saw one of the tears escape and fall down her cheek delicately. I reached out to wipe it away and apologise, not wanting her to be upset on her birthday but she took a step back, turned and ran. Again, I was frozen so I didn't shout or move: I just stood there, my arm out in front of me.

After Bella had left, I turned and looked at Emmett and Jasper who were standing mouth opened and arms crossed.

'What?' I said innocently.

'Dude, do you realise what you just did? Did you not hear what I said to you earlier? She is head over heels in love with you, just like you are with her. Why did you freeze? That was your opportunity.' Emmett inhaled after his speech. I had never heard Emmett be so serious.

'Well, I was still kinda registering what was happening. I _was_ going to kiss her back, honestly, but she pulled aw—'

'Edward, don't you dare put the blame on her. Bella is one of the shyest girls I have ever known and probably will know but tonight she put herself forward, doing something without thinking it through first. So don't you ever think about blaming her for this!' Jasper seethed at me. I had never seen his get this angry and he – knowing Bella the longest – was obviously very protective of her. The two of them turned and walked away, leaving me in the horde of dancers.

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**A/N: mhm some tension building up between friends now.... :/**

**Okay, so the next chapter I think is either going to be a carry on from this (maybe a few days later) or I might skip it all and do the next entry but I haven't decided. Please Review and let me know what you think :D**

**Emma**

**x  
**


	11. NOT A NEW CHAPTER

**A/N: Hey guys. I have a new story idea but thinking about writing a few chapters of it before posting it. Below is the summary and the prologue :) Don't say I'm not good to you!**

**On the other hand though, I think I may take off some of my stories since I don't actually know where I'm going with any of them at the moment. I still have all the chapters saved so that if I ever manage to progress in them then I will post them back up…unless you think I s****hould just leave them.**

**Okay so that's all for now…here's the new story idea and prologue. Let me know what you think. **

**Emma**

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**_Bella is twenty, owns a small store on Rue de Tilsitt, just off the Champs-Elysées. When two beautiful young women enter her store, her life is changed completely. But is it for the better or for the worse? _

As the door bell chimes to let me know that my last customer has left, I lock the door, grab my coat and head out the back and straight into the arms of the man I love. With his lips upon mine, I knew then that my life was complete: best friends, a man that holds my heart and the best job in the world were all I ever dreamed of having and by the age of twenty, I could officially say I had made my dream come true.

'Come on Bella. Lets go and celebrate your birthday.' I groaned slightly and he laughed against my lips as he leaned in for another kiss.

'Do we have to?'

'Yes Bella, now come on or else I'll get kicked when the sun don't shine by Alice if I don't get you there in –' He glances quickly at his watch. 'In fifteen minutes. Now come on.' He yanked on my hand and we headed towards Alice's flat, not far from my work.

As we walked in silence, I thought of my life before I met the Cullens and the Hales. It was because of them that my life was perfect and complete.

But when life seems perfect, something has to come along and ruin it.

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**A/N: Okay guys before you complain, I know it's short but that's all your getting. Please review and let me know what you think and whether I should pursue this story...I would like it to be a joint story with my fans and not just all me. Ideas are very welcome so PM if you have any.  
Emma x**


	12. AUTHORS NOTE!

**A/N: Hey guys, this is not a new chapter so I apologise. **

**I was wondering what you thought of a new story of mine. I do not want to post anything if people wouldn't read it so below is the summary. Please review/PM me with your thoughts. **

_**Bella Swan is a prostitute, roaming the streets of Seattle trying to find men who are willing to pay. She hates her life, her job but she can't stop: the needs the money to survive and does not have the qualifications to even attempt getting another job. Another problem – her 'boss', James. **_

_**Edward Cullen is a small time musician. A solo artist who performs in pubs and restaurants in Seattle and Forks, he entertains people by playing piano or guitar. **_

_**But what happens when the two collide, their separate and very different lived become intertwined? **_

**Okay, so I'm still working on writing a better summary but you get the idea. If you've read anything similar, please tell me and I'll stop immediately. I DO NOT WANT TO COPYRIGHT ANYTHING! **

**Please review/PM me. **

**Emma xx**


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